WHAT IS THE SOVEREIGN SOFT LIFE? (AND WHAT IT’S NOT)
You’ve probably seen “soft life” content all over social media. Women lounging by pools. Designer bags. First-class flights. Captions about “living your best life” and “finding a man who can fund your lifestyle.”
And if you’re a woman of faith, you might have felt uncomfortable with that messaging. Because it feels shallow. It feels materialistic. It feels like the opposite of what you’ve been taught about service, sacrifice, and devotion.
But here’s what I want you to know: that’s not what the sovereign soft life is.
The secular internet co-opted “soft life” and turned it into consumption, luxury for luxury’s sake, and dependence on someone else to fund your lifestyle. But that’s not what I’m teaching. That’s not what God calls us to. And that’s not what true sovereignty looks like.
The sovereign soft life is something entirely different. And it’s what I’m building at 57—after 16 years of caregiving, three bouts of sepsis, and finally choosing myself.
Let me show you what it actually means.
What the Sovereign Soft Life Is NOT
Before I tell you what it is, let me be very clear about what it’s not.
The sovereign soft life is NOT:
Finding a man to fund your lifestyle. That’s not sovereignty—that’s dependence. Real sovereignty means you can take care of yourself. You’re not waiting for someone else to provide. You’re stewarding your own resources, building your own wealth, and creating your own security. You can choose partnership from wholeness, not need.
Luxury consumption. Designer bags and first-class flights are fine if you can afford them without sacrificing your peace. But they’re not the goal. They’re not what makes life “soft.” You can have all the luxury in the world and still be exhausted, depleted, and disconnected from yourself.
Laziness or avoiding work. The sovereign soft life doesn’t mean you don’t work. It means you work strategically, not frantically. You build businesses that serve your life instead of consuming it. You’re productive without being depleted. The Proverbs 31 woman worked—she just didn’t burn herself out doing it.
Selfishness. Choosing yourself isn’t selfish. It’s stewardship. You can love others deeply AND prioritize your own well-being. These aren’t opposites. They’re necessities. You can’t pour from an empty cup, and the sovereign soft life is about making sure your cup is full.
Avoiding hard things. Life will always have challenges. The sovereign soft life doesn’t mean everything is easy. It means you’ve removed the unnecessary weight—the obligations, the people-pleasing, the self-abandonment—so when hard things come, you have the capacity to handle them.
So if that’s not what it is, then what IS the sovereign soft life?
What the Sovereign Soft Life IS
The sovereign soft life means soft because you’ve removed the unnecessary weight, not because someone else is carrying it.
Let me say that again: you’re not soft because someone else is holding you up. You’re soft because you’ve released what doesn’t serve you. You’ve stopped carrying obligations that weren’t yours. You’ve stopped saying yes to things that deplete you. You’ve stopped sacrificing yourself to prove your worth.
The sovereign soft life means building a life that doesn’t require constant hardness just to survive.
For 16 years, my life required hardness. I had to be tough. I had to push through. I had to ignore my own needs. I had to make my body last priority because someone else’s survival depended on me.
I said yes to every client request, even when it meant working through pain. I attended events on Saturdays because “I had to show up.” I scheduled calls back-to-back with no breaks because “that’s what dedicated professionals do.” Every yes was another brick in the wall that was crushing me.
That wasn’t soft. That was survival mode. And survival mode is not sustainable.
The sovereign soft life means I’ve built my life differently now. I protect my Sabbath. I honor my body. I set boundaries. I work strategically instead of frantically. I build businesses that don’t deplete me. I rest without guilt. I choose myself without shame.
That’s what “soft” actually means. Not weak. Not lazy. But no longer requiring hardness to exist.
The Sovereign Soft Life: A Kingdom Definition
Here’s how I define the sovereign soft life through a Kingdom lens:
Soft because I’ve removed unnecessary weight.
Not people-pleasing. Not overcommitting. Not sacrificing my body to prove my devotion. I’ve released what doesn’t align with God’s calling on my life. I’ve said no to obligations that were draining me. I’ve created space for what actually matters.
Soft because I’ve built a life from rest, not exhaustion.
God commanded Sabbath. Not suggested it. Commanded it. The sovereign soft life honors that. I don’t build my business by hustling 60-hour weeks. I build it strategically, with clear boundaries that protect my rest. My business serves my life. My life doesn’t serve my business.
Sovereign because I’m stewarding my body, time, energy, and calling with wisdom.
Sovereignty means I’m responsible for what God gave me. My body is a temple—I treat it as sacred. My time is limited—I steward it intentionally. My energy is finite—I protect it fiercely. My calling is precious—I honor it without self-abandonment.
Sovereign because I can take care of myself.
I’m not dependent on someone else to fund my lifestyle or carry my weight. I’m building wealth. I’m creating security. I’m capable, strong, and self-sufficient—not because I don’t need community, but because I’m not desperate or dependent. Sovereignty means I have agency. I make choices from freedom, not fear. I lead my life instead of reacting to it.
Kingdom-aligned because this is Proverbs 31 living.
The Proverbs 31 woman wasn’t exhausted. She was embodied. She built from overflow. She laughed without fear of the future. She was clothed with strength and dignity. That’s the model. That’s what the sovereign soft life looks like in practice.
What This Looks Like in Real Life
Let me make this practical. Here’s what the sovereign soft life actually looks like day to day:
Friday sundown through Saturday sundown is sacred. My Sabbath. I don’t schedule calls. I don’t work. I don’t respond to emails. I rest. I sit by the window with my tea. I move my body gently. I’m present. And I don’t feel guilty about it.
My business protects my life. I don’t take clients during Sabbath. I don’t build emergency-responsive models. I don’t hustle myself into exhaustion to prove I’m “serious.” I work strategically, efficiently, with clear boundaries that protect my peace.
My body is prioritized, not sacrificed. I don’t postpone medical care. I don’t ignore pain. I don’t push through exhaustion. I listen to my body. I honor what it needs. I treat it as the temple it is.
I say no without guilt. If something doesn’t align, I don’t do it. If someone’s request would deplete me, I decline. If an opportunity would require me to sacrifice my Sabbath, I pass. My peace is more valuable than any opportunity.
I rest without earning it. Rest isn’t a reward for productivity. It’s a command from God. I don’t have to “deserve” rest by working hard enough first. Rest is holy. And I honor it.
I build from presence, not performance. I’m not hustling to prove my worth. I’m not performing to earn approval. I’m building from a place of wholeness, embodiment, and alignment. My work flows from who I am, not from who I think I need to be.
That’s the sovereign soft life. That’s what I’m teaching. That’s what I’m living.
Why This Matters for Women of Faith
If you’re a woman of faith, you’ve probably been taught that devotion requires sacrifice. That loving others means making yourself last. That rest is something you earn, not something you’re commanded to honor.
But that’s not what Scripture teaches.
God rested on the seventh day. Not because He was tired. Not because He earned it. But because rest is holy. Sabbath isn’t optional—it’s part of the created order.
The Proverbs 31 woman was strong, successful, and honored—and she wasn’t exhausted doing it. She built from overflow. She was clothed with strength and dignity. She laughed without fear.
That’s the model. And the sovereign soft life is how we live it.
You can honor God AND prioritize yourself. You can serve others AND set boundaries. You can build a thriving business AND protect your Sabbath. You can love deeply AND choose yourself fiercely.
These aren’t opposites. They’re necessities.
The Sovereign Soft Life Is Your Invitation
At 57, I’m finally learning what this looks like. I’m building a life that doesn’t require constant hardness. I’m honoring my body as a temple. I’m protecting my Sabbath. I’m saying no without guilt. I’m building businesses that serve my life instead of consuming it.
And I’m inviting you to do the same.
You don’t have to wait until you’re broken to start building differently. You don’t have to survive sepsis three times to give yourself permission to rest. You don’t have to sacrifice yourself to prove your devotion.
You can start living the sovereign soft life right now.
Remove the unnecessary weight. Protect your Sabbath. Honor your body. Build from rest. Say no without guilt. Lead from presence, not performance.
This is Kingdom living. This is Proverbs 31 living. This is embodied sovereignty.
Welcome to the sovereign soft life. 🦋
If you’re ready to build the sovereign soft life—businesses that honor rest, bodies treated as temples, legacy over hustle—join my email list. I’m teaching women how to embody this in January 2026.
Let’s build lives that don’t require hardness to survive. Together. 🦋💜
