THE PROVERBS 31 WOMAN WASN’T EXHAUSTED—AND NEITHER SHOULD YOU BE

We’ve been taught the Proverbs 31 woman all wrong.

For decades, women in the church have been told she’s the ultimate example of biblical womanhood. She works hard. She serves her family. She gets up early and stays up late. She never complains. She does it all with a smile.

And so we try to do the same. We exhaust ourselves trying to be her. We martyr ourselves in the name of devotion. We sacrifice our bodies, our rest, our peace—thinking that’s what faithfulness looks like.

But here’s what I’m learning: the Proverbs 31 woman wasn’t exhausted. She wasn’t depleted. She wasn’t sacrificing herself to prove her devotion.

She was embodied. She was sovereign. She was building from overflow, not depletion.

And that changes everything.

What We’ve Been Taught

Growing up in the church, I heard about the Proverbs 31 woman constantly. She was held up as the ideal. The standard. The woman we should all aspire to be.

She works with willing hands. She rises while it is still night. She considers a field and buys it. She opens her arms to the poor. She speaks with wisdom. Her children call her blessed. Her husband praises her.

She does it all. And she makes it look effortless.

So that’s what we tried to do. We tried to be everything for everyone. We worked all day and stayed up late making sure everything was perfect. We served our families, our churches, our communities—often at the expense of our own health, our own rest, our own lives.

And when we burned out? When we collapsed under the weight? We felt like failures. Because if the Proverbs 31 woman could do it all, why couldn’t we?

But here’s what we missed: she wasn’t doing it from depletion. She was doing it from overflow.

What Proverbs 31 Actually Says

Let me show you what we’ve been missing.

Proverbs 31:17 says, “She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks.”

Not “she pushes through exhaustion.” Not “she sacrifices her body.” Not “she works until she breaks.”

Her arms are strong.

She’s not performing strength while falling apart inside. She’s not martyring herself. She IS strong. Because she’s taken care of her body. Because she’s built her life in a way that creates strength, not depletes it.

Proverbs 31:25 says, “She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.”

Read that again. She laughs without fear of the future.

Does that sound like a woman who’s burned out? Does that sound like someone who’s running on fumes, barely holding it together, terrified of what’s next?

No. She’s confident. She’s at peace. She’s embodied in her strength—not performing it, not proving it, but living from it.

Proverbs 31:27 says, “She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.”

Notice what it doesn’t say. It doesn’t say she never rests. It doesn’t say she works 24/7. It doesn’t say she sacrifices her own needs to serve everyone else.

It says she’s a good steward. She manages her household well. But management doesn’t mean martyrdom.

The Proverbs 31 Woman Was a Business Owner

Here’s something else we often overlook: the Proverbs 31 woman was an entrepreneur.

Proverbs 31:16 says, “She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.”

She’s making strategic business decisions. She’s investing. She’s building wealth. She’s not just serving—she’s creating, leading, stewarding resources.

Proverbs 31:18 says, “She sees that her trading is profitable.”

She’s running a profitable business. She’s not doing it all for free out of obligation. She’s creating value and being compensated for it.

Proverbs 31:24 says, “She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes.”

She has products. She has clients. She has revenue streams. She’s building a Kingdom business.

And she’s doing it without burning out. Without sacrificing herself. Without making her body the cost of her success.

Because she’s building from overflow, not depletion.

The Missing Piece: She Honored Sabbath

Here’s what we’ve completely overlooked: the Proverbs 31 woman was Jewish. She lived under Jewish law. And Jewish law commanded Sabbath rest.

She worked six days and rested one. That wasn’t optional. That was commanded.

She didn’t work seven days a week. She didn’t hustle herself into exhaustion. She didn’t sacrifice rest to prove her devotion. She honored the rhythm God established: six days of work, one day of sacred rest.

That’s why her arms were strong. That’s why she could laugh without fear. That’s why she was clothed with strength and dignity.

She built from a foundation of rest.

And we’re called to do the same.

What “Building from Overflow” Actually Means

The Proverbs 31 woman could do what she did because her foundation was solid.

She wasn’t trying to build a business while her body was breaking. She wasn’t pushing through exhaustion to prove her worth. She wasn’t sacrificing rest to keep up with impossible standards.

She had strong arms because she took care of her body. She laughed without fear because she built wisely. She was praised because she wasn’t depleting herself.

Building from overflow means:

Your business serves your life instead of consuming it. You’re not working 60-hour weeks trying to prove you’re serious. You’re working strategically, efficiently, with clear boundaries that protect your energy.

Your body is cared for, not sacrificed. You’re not postponing medical care, ignoring pain, or pushing through illness. You’re treating your body as a temple—sacred, worthy of rest and healing.

Your rest is non-negotiable. You honor Sabbath—whether that’s Friday sundown through Saturday sundown like I do, or another day of the week. You protect sacred rest. You build your business around your life, not your life around your business.

You lead from presence, not performance. You’re not exhausted, resentful, and running on fumes. You’re embodied, confident, and building something that lasts.

This is what the Proverbs 31 woman modeled. This is what we’re meant to follow.

For me, this looks like: I don’t take clients during Sabbath (Friday sundown through Saturday sundown). I don’t schedule back-to-back calls with no breaks. I don’t work when my body is telling me to rest. I build my business around my healing, not despite it. That’s overflow. That’s the Proverbs 31 model in practice.

Why We Got It Wrong

So why did we miss this? Why have generations of women burned themselves out trying to be the Proverbs 31 woman when she herself wasn’t burned out?

Because hustle culture infiltrated the church.

We took a woman who built wisely and turned her into a martyr. We took someone who was embodied and made her a symbol of exhaustion. We took a model of overflow and twisted it into a mandate for depletion.

And then we wondered why so many Christian women are tired, burned out, and disconnected from their bodies.

It’s because we’ve been following the wrong interpretation.

The Proverbs 31 woman wasn’t trying to do it all. She was stewarding what God gave her—her body, her time, her resources, her calling—with wisdom, strength, and rest.

She wasn’t proving her worth through exhaustion. She was living her worth through embodied, sovereign leadership.

That’s the difference. And that’s what we’ve been missing.

What This Means for You

If you’ve been trying to be the Proverbs 31 woman by exhausting yourself, you’ve been doing it wrong. And it’s not your fault. You were taught wrong.

But now you know.

The Proverbs 31 woman wasn’t exhausted. And neither should you be.

You don’t have to sacrifice your body to be faithful. You don’t have to work until you break to prove your devotion. You don’t have to give everything to everyone and have nothing left for yourself.

You can be strong because you honor your body, not because you push through pain.

You can laugh without fear because you’ve built wisely, not because you’re performing confidence while terrified inside.

You can lead, create, and build—while resting. While honoring Sabbath. While treating your body as a temple.

This is Kingdom business. This is the sovereign soft life. This is what it means to follow the actual Proverbs 31 model—not the twisted version we’ve been taught.

How to Build Like the Proverbs 31 Woman

Here’s what building from overflow actually looks like in practice:

1. Protect Your Sabbath

The Proverbs 31 woman honored rest. God commands rest. It’s not a suggestion. It’s not something you do “if you have time.” Build your business in a way that protects sacred rest—whether that’s Friday sundown through Saturday sundown or another day. No emergency-responsive models. No “always on” availability. Sacred rest is non-negotiable.

2. Strengthen Your Body

“Her arms are strong for her tasks.” Take care of your body. Move it. Nourish it. Rest it. Don’t sacrifice it. Your body is the temple from which you build everything else. If the foundation is broken, nothing you

build will last.

3. Build Strategically, Not Frantically

She “considers a field and buys it.” She doesn’t react. She doesn’t hustle out of desperation. She plans. She evaluates. She moves with wisdom and discernment. Your business should be the same—strategic, intentional, sustainable.

4. Let Your Work Be Profitable

“She sees that her trading is profitable.” Don’t give everything away for free because you feel guilty charging. Don’t undervalue your work because you think that’s more “Christian.” You’re allowed to be compensated well for excellent work. Stewardship includes financial wisdom.

5. Lead from Embodied Presence

She’s clothed with strength and dignity. She’s not performing. She’s not faking it. She IS strong because she’s embodied. Lead from that place—fully present, fully rested, fully alive.

The Invitation

At 57, I’m finally learning what the Proverbs 31 woman actually modeled. Not exhaustion. Not martyrdom. Not self-sacrifice dressed up as devotion.

Embodied sovereignty. Building from overflow. Laughing without fear of the future.

That’s what I’m teaching women now. That’s the Kingdom business model I’m building. That’s the sovereign soft life.

And I’m inviting you to build it with me.

You don’t have to exhaust yourself to be faithful. You don’t have to break yourself to be devoted. You don’t have to sacrifice your body to serve God.

You can honor God by honoring the temple He gave you. You can serve from overflow. You can build from rest.

The Proverbs 31 woman did. And so can you.

Welcome to the real model. Welcome to embodied sovereignty. Welcome to the sovereign soft life. 🦋

If you’re ready to build Kingdom business from rest instead of exhaustion, join my email list. I’m teaching women to embody the REAL Proverbs 31 model—strong, sovereign, building from overflow—starting in January 2026.

Let’s build like she did. Together. 🦋💜